Chapter Nineteen: I Want to Be Yours

"The noodles are here! Enjoy your meal, you two."

The steaming hot noodles were served. Topped with chopped green onions, cilantro, a dash of chili oil, and a fried egg resting atop the silky strands, the dish was undeniably appetizing.

However, Hao Lei did not pick up her chopsticks.

Her mother, Lei Ma, had already taken a few bites before she noticed her daughter’s strange behavior. "What’s wrong? Eat."

"I’m not hungry."

"Are you going to hide the truth from your own mother? I can tell something is up... what’s the deal with that man and woman?"

"It’s nothing."

"If you won’t be honest with me, there’s nothing I can do to help you."

"Mom, didn't you always teach me that once I’m out in the world, I have to rely on myself?"

"Hey! You child!"

Lei Ma was genuinely annoyed, but there wasn't much she could say. It had been strange earlier when Leilei suddenly hailed a taxi, pulled her inside, and kept her eyes glued to the car ahead of them. The trip had cost a significant amount of money—taxis in Beijing were much pricier than back home. It was clear this had something to do with the young woman and the man they had been following, but Lei Ma couldn't fathom the nature of their relationship. Since her daughter wouldn't speak, she was at a loss.

Hao Lei was eighteen this year, but her temperament was far more mature than her peers. This was a result of her parents' influence: her father was a former soldier turned police officer who had always been strict with her, and her mother, a government office worker, had always held her to high standards. As for the relationship between her parents... they hadn't spoken to each other in years. Because of this environment, Hao Lei had learned to be independent early on.

She had intended to come to Beijing alone, but her mother had insisted on tagging along. Now, Hao Lei felt she had discovered a new "threat." She had seen Gao Yuanyuan. The girl was younger than her, but she possessed a pure, fresh look—the exact type most boys seemed to favor. Was Ma Xun planning to promote her? What about the lead role in *Seventeen-Year-Olds Don't Cry*? The more Hao Lei thought about it, the more anxious and angry she became. How could this happen? Just because she was pretty? Just because of Ma Xun...

At that moment, her pager beeped. "I’m going to return a call." Her mother stepped away.

Hao Lei managed a few bites of noodles, but then she overheard some men at the next table gossiping loudly.

"Did you hear? That jerk Bai Xiaohang got taken down!"

"I heard. Some hothead named Ma Xun."

"For real? Where’s this Ma Xun from?"

"No idea where he popped out from. Young guy, not very tall, but he fights dirty."

"Hell! How dirty?"

"I heard he used a scorpion-tail kick, caught Bai Xiaohang right in the family jewels..."

"Damn! Damn! This kid..."

"Don't listen to his nonsense! I heard both of them ended up in the hospital."

"Mutually assured destruction?"

"Impossible. Bai Xiaohang didn't brag about it this time, which means he definitely took a massive hit."

"True! That makes sense."

Normally, Hao Lei would have no interest in middle-aged men drinking and bragging, but hearing Ma Xun's name caught her attention. Was this guy really that formidable?

"This is bad, something’s happened!"

"What’s wrong?" Her mother returned, beads of sweat on her forehead.

"Your grandmother is in the hospital. I have to go back immediately... you’re coming with me."

"What about Dad?"

"You think you can count on him? Your deadbeat father couldn't manage a thing if his life depended on it! Everything falls on me."

"But I... I'm not leaving!"

The outcome of the casting hadn't been decided yet, and Hao Lei refused to leave. Lei Ma saw it coming, but what could she do?

"Can you manage on your own?"

"Why wouldn't I be able to?"

"You stubborn girl... Fine. I’ll give you another two hundred. Be careful with your spending, and make sure you save enough for a train ticket back to the Northeast."

Money was tight at home, especially with medical expenses looming. Lei Ma was in a difficult spot. "Stay for a day or two at most. This is Beijing; the public safety is good."

Hao Lei was interrupted before she could finish. "Good? Haven't you heard about that Bai Baoshan? It's chaotic out there right now!"

The very mention of that name sent shivers down spines. Hao Lei wasn't fearless, but she couldn't bring herself to return home in defeat. "Mom, don't worry, I have a plan!"

"You and your stubborn mind!"

...

Gao Yuanyuan lay on her dormitory bed, tossing and turning.

"Hey, aren't you going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Your lover, of course."

"He's not!"

"Still playing hard to get, huh?"

"I said he's not!"

"Oh, I get it. He’s trying to chase you, and you’re turning him down?"

"No!"

The school was small, but gossip was rampant. Her roommates wouldn't stop pestering her, and Gao Yuanyuan was at her wits' end. Then came the next comment:

"Gao Yuanyuan, I'm giving you some genuine advice, want to hear it? Look, why act so high and mighty? We’re just at a mediocre vocational school. Now that some rich kid has taken an interest in you, that’s your stroke of luck. What, are you really planning to study hard and improve every day? Even if you do, what will it get you? Once you graduate, you’ll just end up as someone’s secretary. And isn't a secretary just a glorified mistress?"

The words were harsh, but they hit home as truth. Gao Yuanyuan wanted to say, "He's not trying to chase me," but she knew no one would believe her.

"Sleep! I’m going to lose it if anyone else speaks!"

The lights in the dorm were extinguished.

...

The next day, at the entrance of the Beijing Film Academy.

Ma Xun had indeed visited the hospital. He had to get his paronychia treated—it was incredibly uncomfortable and not something to be ignored. He had visited the general surgery department, and he felt much better now. He was here today, of course, to wait for Gao Yuanyuan.

He was alone. To be honest, the line he’d delivered yesterday—"You must be my person"—was something the old Ma Xun would never have dared to say. The conversation on the ride with Sun Donghai had made him realize many things. Sun's words were utterly rogue, and from a moral or social standpoint, they were trash. He could easily label Sun a scoundrel.

But Ma Xun saw something else: desire. Unadorned, undisguised desire. Why was Sun allowed to be that way? Every human has desires, but society forces us to suppress them, to live with caution. Ma Xun had been like that, always careful.

He realized the "why." He had been a director, but he was also just an employee. Sun Donghai was different; he was a boss, the capital itself. They didn't need to concern themselves with social rules or formalities; the rules were for the weak. Ma Xun decided he would become capital himself. When he spoke those words, he felt his mindset shift. It was an evolution. He was no longer just an employee.

Then, she arrived.

"You've decided."

"Yes."

Gao Yuanyuan had made her choice. Her classmate was right: what would a normal future really hold for her? Besides, she wasn't cut out for academics anyway. Seeing Ma Xun, she felt shy. But the crucial question remained.

"I... I haven't graduated yet. Can we wait until after I graduate to..."

What was she saying? Ma Xun understood, but seeing her flustered expression, he couldn't help but smile.

"Are you misunderstanding something?"

"Huh?"

"Do you think I'm the type of guy who would tear your clothes off in the next second?"

That made Gao Yuanyuan bristle, and she looked up. "I don't!"

Ma Xun laughed. "You think too little of me. First, I don't force anyone. Second, you haven't proven yourself yet."

"Proven? Proven what?" Gao Yuanyuan was curious.

"Proven that you are worth being used by me."

The words were sharp, piercing through her.

"You..." Gao Yuanyuan was furious but helpless.

"Get through this audition first. The people inside are from CCTV, and I won't help you. If you can't even land a role, it just proves you aren't qualified to be mine."

Ma Xun sounded cold and ruthless—because he was. But this was the attitude of a boss, a person of status. The fire in Gao Yuanyuan's heart was ignited. "Don't underestimate me!"

With that, she walked into the academy.

Ma Xun didn't hesitate to hail a taxi. He was renting a small courtyard house. Buying one in Beijing would cost at least five or six hundred thousand, and he was still a bit short, so he was renting for now with an option to buy. It wouldn't be long before he purchased it and renovated it. For now, he would adapt to the life of a Beijing courtyard.

However, after getting out of the taxi and walking into the alleyway, he noticed someone following him.

"You..."

He turned around to see Hao Lei. She was wearing jeans and a white shirt, standing tall and slim. More importantly, she was dragging a suitcase. Ma Xun couldn't understand why she was following him, let alone why she had a suitcase.

Hao Lei had followed him in a taxi. She stared straight at him.

"I want to be your person. Is that okay?"