Chapter Thirty-Six: The Self-Cultivation of an Actor

Cheng Xiaoyu slouched in his seat, driving in silence. Xu Qinning was on his phone, chatting with Su Yuxi.

“Yuxi, you should have seen your brother’s face just now,” Xu Qinning said, laughter dancing in her voice. “He was pale as a ghost, looking like I’d just caught him red-handed. It was absolutely hilarious.” She giggled, glancing over at Cheng Xiaoyu.

Cheng Xiaoyu put on his best imitation of Chen Haoran’s poker face, determined to ignore her. Still, he couldn’t help but want to hear what Su Yuxi was saying, so he quietly turned down the music. He could just barely make out Su Yuxi’s muffled protests, something about “don’t be like that,” but he couldn’t quite catch it. Too embarrassed to turn the music off entirely, he gave up.

Only Xu Qinning’s sweet, impudent voice filled the Ferrari. She’d already taken off her coat, revealing surprising curves beneath her pink sweater. Cheng Xiaoyu caught an accidental glimpse and quickly averted his eyes, thinking to himself how astonishing it was that girls were so captivating at sixteen or seventeen—and how breathtaking she’d be in a few years.

He was still a little dazed when he heard Xu Qinning say, “Yuxi, I’ll stay at your place when we get back! Let your brother lend me to you for a few days.”

Whatever Su Yuxi replied, Xu Qinning pouted, “Oh, don’t be stingy, Su Yuxi. Don’t worry, I won’t break him.”

Cheng Xiaoyu felt a creeping sense of betrayal, but was too embarrassed to ask what they’d been talking about. Besides, even if he did, he’d probably just end up being mocked by Xu Qinning.

Xu Qinning hung up but made no move to return the phone.

Cheng Xiaoyu’s annoyance melted away in the face of her bright beauty. Still, he pretended to be angry and asked, “What do you want to eat?”

Xu Qinning reclined her seat a little, replying lazily, “Anything.”

Cheng Xiaoyu dreaded hearing women say “anything.” Whenever a woman said that, she meant: “I can’t be bothered to think about it, and I probably won’t like what you pick, unless you magically guess what I want.”

He didn’t bother asking again. He just wanted to get this troublesome goddess fed and sent on her way—then his work would be done. When he spotted a Hunan restaurant, he was about to pull over when Xu Qinning said, “Not that one. Hunan food is too greasy and too spicy.”

Cheng Xiaoyu had no choice but to keep driving. Soon, they passed a Chaoshan hotpot place. “How about here?” he asked.

Xu Qinning glanced up. “That’s too bland. I’m sick of seafood. Next.”

Cheng Xiaoyu grumbled inwardly but asked, “How about local cuisine?”

“Whatever,” Xu Qinning replied indifferently.

Cheng Xiaoyu decided not to ask her again. He drove straight to Liu Yishou Hotpot. When they arrived, he parked without waiting for her approval. “We’re here,” he announced.

Xu Qinning hesitated, then got out and saw the blazing red Liu Yishou sign. “What is this dump? Weren’t we getting local food?”

Cheng Xiaoyu laughed. “Hotpot! Don’t tell me you’ve never had hotpot before?”

She shook her head. “I’ve heard of it. Isn’t it super spicy? And isn’t it the sort of thing only poor people eat? Are you really this cheap, taking me for hotpot?” She could hardly believe it.

Cheng Xiaoyu grinned. “A life without hotpot is incomplete. Since you’ve never tried it, you should experience it at least once—so you won’t regret knowing me.”

Xu Qinning lifted her Chanel bag. “If it’s not good, we’re going somewhere else! Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily!”

Cheng Xiaoyu said nothing and headed inside.

Once they were in, the packed tables and rising clouds of steam seemed to overwhelm Xu Qinning. From childhood, she’d only ever eaten at the teachers’ private canteen or in high-end clubs and five-star hotels. At worst, it was private dining with just one or two tables. A place like this was a first for her. She’d never eaten street food or skewers, had only ever seen cotton candy, never tasted it. No one had ever asked if she wanted these things—she’d only ever been told such food wasn’t for her.

Cheng Xiaoyu called for a waiter to seat them. Xu Qinning wiped down the table and chairs vigorously with tissues, then started peppering Cheng Xiaoyu with questions like a curious child. “What’s the sauce table for? Isn’t hotpot supposed to be cooked over charcoal? Is that a yin-yang pot?”

Her barrage of questions gave Cheng Xiaoyu a headache. When their yin-yang pot arrived, she asked, “Can you drink the white broth?”

Expressionless, Cheng Xiaoyu nodded and served her a bowl.

She tried it. “That’s actually pretty good.” Then she picked up a slice of tomato and started eating.

Cheng Xiaoyu mixed two bowls of sauce, handed one to Xu Qinning, and began cooking food for himself, ignoring her.

Xu Qinning, though, hesitated. She didn’t recognize a single dish on the table. “What’s this grass? Is it edible?”

“That’s enoki mushroom,” Cheng Xiaoyu answered, barely looking up, already devouring his food.

Xu Qinning picked up a few enoki mushrooms with her chopsticks, held them in the hotpot for a few minutes, then asked, “Is it ready yet?”

Cheng Xiaoyu nodded. She mimicked him, cautiously dipping the mushrooms in the sauce and using her hand to guide them into her mouth. Instantly, she was hooked, smacking Cheng Xiaoyu on the shoulder in delight. “This texture is so complex—spicy, but so good! Quick, what else can I try?”

Her excitement was making Cheng Xiaoyu a little frazzled. “Everything on the table, as long as it’s in a dish, you can eat.”

Xu Qinning picked up a slice of beef tripe. “What’s this?”

“Beef tripe.”

“What is beef tripe, anyway?” she pressed.

Cheng Xiaoyu had no idea, so he bluffed, “It’s the throat cartilage of a bull less than a year old—just as rare as bear paw.”

Xu Qinning swallowed nervously and dipped the tripe into the pot.

Seeing her cook so slowly, Cheng Xiaoyu said, “Just throw it in and fish it out with the ladle later.”

But Xu Qinning insisted on cooking it herself, so Cheng Xiaoyu started adding more ingredients to the pot for her.

Soon Xu Qinning was in full swing—exclaiming about the spiciness, gulping down cola, and fishing for food with her chopsticks.

Watching her lips flush and swell from the heat, Cheng Xiaoyu couldn’t help but smile. There was something so pure and beautiful about this side of Xu Qinning that it sent ripples through his otherwise calm heart.

When both of them were sweating and the table was nearly empty, Cheng Xiaoyu paid the bill. As they walked out, Xu Qinning was still gasping from the spice—but insisted that he bring her and Su Yuxi back the next day.

Cheng Xiaoyu didn’t commit either way. Standing by the car, he asked, “So, as agreed—should I drive you home, or do you want to take a taxi? Don’t worry, I’ll pay the fare.”

Xu Qinning stepped in front of him. Even in canvas sneakers, she was nearly as tall as he was. Her eyes locked onto his, and when he saw tears threatening to fall, he began to panic.

She grabbed his arm, a teardrop already slipping down her cheek, and murmured brokenly, “Your Majesty, you want your concubine to leave—but I can’t do it!”

Cheng Xiaoyu realized she was acting again and was at a loss. Then he thought, you like to act? Let’s see who’s better.

He swept his sleeves, clasped his hands, and bowed to her with exaggerated humility. “Your Majesty, whatever happened last time was entirely my fault. It was I who failed to recognize your greatness. Please don’t be angry—your health is too precious to risk over me. If you fall ill, it will hurt me deeply!”

“Impudent servant! Since you know your mistake, why haven’t you prepared the sedan for my return to the palace?” Xu Qinning switched roles so fast it caught Cheng Xiaoyu off guard.

He had no choice but to open the car door for her. “Your Majesty, your sedan awaits.”

Xu Qinning didn’t care that plenty of people were sneaking glances at her stunning beauty. She continued playing the empress, resting her hand on her servant Xiaoyu’s arm as she got in.

Cheng Xiaoyu climbed in, put on a stern face, and shouted, “Drive!” He started the car, revved the engine, and mimicked the sound of horses neighing.

Xu Qinning couldn’t hold back any longer and collapsed into laughter, clutching her stomach and shouting, “Oh no, I’m going to die laughing! Xiaoyu, your empress is going to laugh herself sick! Quick, hold me!”

Cheng Xiaoyu, ever the deadpan joker, replied, “Your Majesty, if you want your servant’s help, you’ll need to stop the horse first! I know how to say ‘go,’ but how do you tell a horse to stop?”

Xu Qinning nearly lost it, rolling in her seat and gasping, “Call it a donkey! Just call it a donkey!”

Cheng Xiaoyu sighed, affecting a eunuch’s nasal tone. “Oh, how the world’s gone downhill! Even the horses are putting on airs and refusing to stop unless you bribe them!”

Xu Qinning was stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing, thumping the seat. Tears streamed down her face, and she couldn’t get a word out.

Watching her laugh so hard, Cheng Xiaoyu chuckled too, then put on a stern face. “Beloved consort, what is so funny? Share it with your emperor!”

Xu Qinning, still giggling, pinched his arm and said, “No taking advantage of me! Only I get to take advantage of you, not the other way around!”

Cheng Xiaoyu endured the pain and humbly said, “Then, Your Majesty, where would you like to go? You have to tell me.”

Dabbing her tears away with a tissue, Xu Qinning thought for a moment. “Come with me to buy a phone first.”

Cheng Xiaoyu, needing to pick up a phone himself, set the GPS for Dixintong, and off they went.