Encountering Uncle Tian Pleasuring Himself

Time flowed like water; in the blink of an eye, a month had passed. Autumn was setting in, and the Mid-Autumn Festival was near.

On this morning, after breakfast, Jiang Ran began leading everyone in reciting the morning lessons at the Charity House.

“Deer call softly, grazing wild celery. I welcome honored guests, we play the zither and blow pipes. The pipes sound, the zither stirs; baskets are brought forth. Those who cherish me show me the way.”

Everyone was swaying their heads, reciting “The Call of the Deer” with Jiang Ran.

Zhao Liang was a little distracted; he could recite this poem backward by now. Suddenly, a mischievous urge struck him—he wanted to play a prank on Jiang Ran. Silently, he recited a secret incantation in his heart, quietly uttering “Hide.”

Instantly, Zhao Liang vanished. Everyone else was engrossed in recitation with Jiang Ran and paid no heed to the movements of the boy sitting at the back.

Stealthily, Zhao Liang tiptoed past the group, stopping less than two feet from Jiang Ran, ready to poke him and give him a fright.

But unexpectedly, Jiang Ran slammed down his bamboo scroll and shouted, “Zhao Liang, what are you doing?”

“Ah!” Zhao Liang hadn’t expected to be discovered and was so startled that his spiritual energy dissipated, revealing himself as he fell flat at Jiang Ran’s feet.

Jiang Ran grabbed Zhao Liang by the ear and dragged him outside.

“Ow, ow, Teacher Jiang, not so hard!” Zhao Liang complained, grimacing with pain.

“You’re to stand here for two hours and reflect on your actions!”

A burst of laughter erupted from inside; the room was filled with hearty guffaws.

“Enough laughing, continue reading!” Jiang Ran scolded them.

“Deer call softly, grazing wild mugwort. I welcome honored guests, their virtue shines bright. They care for the people, gentlemen follow their example. I have fine wine, guests feast and rejoice.”

And so, the group resumed their recitation with Jiang Ran, swaying their heads.

Bored, Zhao Liang stood outside for a quarter of an hour. Suddenly, he heard the sound of water coming from the next room. Curious, he crouched and peered through a crack in the window, only to see Tian Yi bathing in a wooden tub, his bare back exposed.

Heh heh, another mischievous idea popped into Zhao Liang’s mind.

Inside, Tian Yi was enjoying his bath, his thoughts drifting. Over thirty years old, he had yet to marry, dedicating his life to caring for the children of the Charity House. But he was still a man, subject to passions and desires, though he wouldn’t indulge in the vices of the world. Sometimes, he relieved his urges with nothing more than his fingers.

Just as Tian Yi’s imagination ran wild and his cheeks flushed, Zhao Liang slipped around to the back of the house, quietly reciting his incantation, whispering “Pass.” Instantly, he walked through the wall.

“Ah!” A cry rang out. Tian Yi, startled by the sudden appearance of a person, quickly stopped his actions and covered himself with both hands.

“Ah!” Zhao Liang cried out as well, shocked by the scene he had stumbled upon.

“Ah!” Tian Yi shouted again, recognizing Zhao Liang, and hurled a ladle of water from the tub at him.

“Ah!” Zhao Liang ducked, dodging the water, and fled in haste.

Zhao Liang didn’t stop running until he reached the village entrance, his heart pounding wildly.

He thought to himself, Uncle Tian is furious right now; if I return, I’ll surely be beaten. Better to wait until afternoon—by then, maybe his anger will have cooled and I won’t be punished so harshly.

With his mind made up, Zhao Liang lay down on a stack of corn stalks at the village entrance, basking in the sun and dozing.

After the morning lesson, Jiang Ran stepped outside, puzzled to find Zhao Liang missing. Just then, Tian Yi stormed out of the house, and Jiang Ran asked, “Where’s Zhao Liang? Where did he go?”

Tian Yi replied angrily, “Dead! No idea!”

“Bathing early in the morning, then getting angry after—who knows what’s got him so worked up, and he takes it out on me. What did I ever do?” With that, Jiang Ran left in a huff.

When afternoon came and everyone was likely napping, Zhao Liang crept back to the Charity House.

As soon as he entered, he felt someone grab him from behind, an arm around his neck. Just as he was about to cry out, a large hand covered his mouth.

Zhao Liang struggled, mumbling, until the person behind him shushed him, signaling him to keep quiet.

Hearing the voice, Zhao Liang immediately knew it was Tian Yi and ceased moving.

Only then did Tian Yi release his grip.