Chapter 18

Xiao Sizhen was taken aback by her righteously earnest expression. When had Qin Xiangyi ever spoken so fluently in one breath? Usually, her world-weary face seemed to say, “Don’t bother me, don’t come near, it’s none of my concern.”

Xiao Sizhen felt that Qin Xiangyi was becoming more and more like a living, breathing person.

For a woman like her, seeking refuge, moral scruples should not have held her back.

Qin Xiangyi still hadn’t figured out whether her feelings for He Yanzhou were something special, or if she simply found him reliable and reassuring, a stronghold within the palace.

The thought of He Yanzhou’s face made her cover her ears. “Stop talking. If you keep going, I really won’t dare see him anymore. Standing before him, I feel so shameless.”

Was she to drag He Yanzhou, her stable pillar in the palace, down into the mire? To have him seek pleasure with her in shadowy corners? Or worse, force him to oppose his family and marry her?

Qin Xiangyi wouldn’t dare imagine such things. Even if she knew that once she acted thus, He Yanzhou would never betray her, even if he battered himself to bleeding, she did not want him to suffer. She wanted him to remain upright and pure, shining like the clear sky.

Xiao Sizhen took her hand and whispered in her ear, “By the fifth day of the month, why don’t you come to my home for dinner? My brother-in-law has learned a few new dishes.”

Usually, Qin Xiangyi rarely accepted invitations to Xiao Sizhen’s home, but this time was different.

Xiao Sizhen continued, “This time, a friend of my husband has been transferred to the capital, and he’ll also come for dinner. Most importantly, this friend is in the prime of his life and unmarried. I thought perhaps you might want to meet him?”

Qin Xiangyi’s thoughts quietly shifted. Her marriage was the most urgent matter now; if she could meet a suitable candidate, it would be ideal.

Yet the idea of meeting a stranger still stirred some hesitation in her heart.

Xiao Sizhen reassured her, “Don’t be afraid. He’s my husband’s longtime close friend, of impeccable family background and a very good man.”

Qin Xiangyi replied briskly, “Alright.”

A moment later, a palace attendant came with a message that the Shufei Consort sought Qin Xiangyi.

She glanced helplessly at Xiao Sizhen, who squeezed her hand twice and said, “If the Shufei Consort wants to see you, then go quickly.”

Qin Xiangyi stood and, since not just anyone could visit the consorts in the inner palace, instructed Qiansong to hand over her box and stay in Sizhen’s room.

Though she had entered the inner palace before, without He Yanzhou by her side now, she felt oddly unsettled.

Carrying her box, she took several deep breaths outside Sizhen’s door. The fine autumn rain fell lightly, and she plunged into the heavy palace gates.

Her steps remained calm and steady as ever. She followed the usual paths through the inner palace, avoiding any unfamiliar routes, knowing how to dodge the powerful when necessary.

The autumn rain trickled softly over her, vanishing instantly upon her clothes, but on her hair it gathered into tiny droplets, almost invisible, as if veiling her in mist.

The faint touch of raindrops was barely perceptible, except when they landed on her face, each cold as a fleeting kiss, jolting her awake.

Fortunately, the journey was smooth, and Qin Xiangyi soon arrived at Leyuan, where the Shufei Consort resided.

Leyuan was vast, with rows of palaces for the consorts’ daily living, and exquisitely maintained gardens leading to a flower hall.

The Shufei Consort was highly favored in the inner palace and had a five-year-old son named Changyun, ranked third among the princes.

When Qin Xiangyi arrived, the consort was in the flower hall, accompanying the Third Prince as he practiced calligraphy. The hall offered an expansive view of the surrounding gardens.

Qin Xiangyi greeted them with perfect etiquette, flawless as always.

“Consort, what do you need of me?” she asked.

The Shufei Consort gestured to a design brought forth by a maid. “I wish to have a headdress made like this. I feared they could not explain it well to you, so I asked you to come personally so I might explain carefully.”

“This part should be inlaid with turquoise, and around it a ring of tiny cat’s eye stones…”

Qin Xiangyi listened intently, memorizing all the instructions. The consort appreciated her skill and quiet demeanor, knowing that by simply listening, Qin Xiangyi would perfectly replicate her desires.

“Qin Zhangzhen, thank you for your trouble this time.”

“This is my duty, Consort,” Qin Xiangyi replied.

Outside the flower hall, the sounds of “The Emperor has arrived!” rang out repeatedly. Qin Xiangyi frowned and hurriedly looked to the consort.

The Shufei Consort glanced at her and then at the folding screen behind them, signaling her to hide.

Qin Xiangyi disregarded formalities; this wasn’t a time for etiquette.

She lifted her skirt and slipped behind the screen, holding her breath and minimizing her presence.

Outside the hall, the autumn drizzle and gusts of wind stirred the embroidered ribbons.

Behind her was a lush expanse of greenery, no path forward, and no one could see her hidden there.

“Your Majesty,” the soft, enchanting voice of the Shufei Consort greeted, followed by the emperor’s command for her to rise.

Qin Xiangyi had never seen the emperor before; this was her first time hearing his voice.

Her heart pounded fiercely from fear.

Except for that night beneath Changluo Mountain, she was always timid.

That night she had no choice but to pick up a hoe and fight desperately. Now, in peaceful times, the rain fell lightly, imparting a chill, the sky bright outside the flower hall, reflecting verdant greenery and golden osmanthus trees. If not for the brutal and lecherous emperor standing just beyond the screen, this moment could almost be called beautiful.

Then, a voice outside the screen caught her attention. She widened her eyes as her heart, from intense and anxious pounding, gradually settled into a light, rhythmic beat.

It was He Yanzhou’s voice, speaking.

For some reason, He Yanzhou had accompanied the emperor to Leyuan. As one of the emperor’s closest aides, he had practically grown up under his watchful eye. The emperor often kept him nearby.

Amid the cruelty and folly of the emperor, He Yanzhou strove to serve the people.

Qin Xiangyi’s heart calmed somewhat with He Yanzhou near, but she knew she must not trouble him, so she lowered her gaze and checked herself carefully for any sign of exposure.

Everything was fine; she just needed to wait until they left.

Secretly, she thought He Yanzhou might never know she was there, nor realize how much his presence calmed her.

This thought brought a faint blush to her cheeks. Though he was so much younger, he gave her a sense of security—a fact she found puzzling. Was she too useless, or was he truly extraordinary?

Yet she did not realize that He Yanzhou’s reliability went far beyond this.

The moment he arrived, his sharp eyes caught sight of her box on the Shufei’s table.

Before the consort lay a jewelry design, bearing fresh strokes of her handwriting.

He had seen her handwriting once before, that night he made her the forbidden step. Under the dim yellow light, he glimpsed it on her desk and never forgot it.

His eyes, far keener than the emperor’s dulled by vice, quickly spotted the emerald green figure behind the screen.

While bowing to the consort, he silently moved before the screen, blocking the emperor’s sight completely.

Qin Xiangyi twisted her handkerchief, holding her breath, listening to the voices outside until a figure appeared beside her.

He Yanzhou glanced toward her and gave her a solemn look, his eyes conveying a silent message of reassurance.

Qin Xiangyi clutched her handkerchief tightly at her chest, her heart, so recently calmed, began to race again. Did he know how wildly it pounded for him?

“Thump—thump—thump—thump—”

He had no idea how much power lay in the glance he gave her.

She could hardly withstand it but knew her heartbeat was resolute and joyful.

Turning her back, she pressed a hand to her flushed cheek.

He rarely gazed at her back so intently.

In the palace, her hair was always pinned high, revealing a patch of snow-white neck, resolute and cold.

His expression darkened as he traced the curve of her spine. The palace robes outlined her upright, rigorous figure; she had always stood like a steadfast pine.

He struggled to dispel intrusive thoughts and dared not look at the Guanyin statue as he lowered his head.

He had no idea how her heart thundered now, how her face burned.

Both were adept at concealing their emotions.

Neither realized that just as she dared not let herself be touched by him, he felt the same.

The emperor’s and consort’s fragmented voices drifted through the screen. He Yanzhou remained silent, and Qin Xiangyi held her breath.

Hidden behind the screen, he discreetly extended a hand, opening it to reveal a sesame candy.

Qin Xiangyi glanced at him, surprised he carried such a childish treat.

As she reached out to take it, both froze momentarily.

Her fingertips brushed his warm palm, while her own were cool. When he withdrew his hand, he curled it tightly, stiff for a long moment.

Turning away, Qin Xiangyi popped the sesame candy into her mouth. Both pondered whether their touch was improper.

If not improper, why did his palm sweat uncontrollably, and why did her fingertips tremble?

He gave her a candy as if coaxing her.

At least his gaze remained calm and composed, signaling her to be at ease.

But outside, chaos erupted again. The emperor shouted angrily, threatening to beat or kill someone.

Such scenes happened whenever He Yanzhou accompanied the emperor.

He avoided trouble when possible; when not, he protected himself first.

Now, Qin Xiangyi stood behind the screen, and he had to protect her first.

The noise beyond was terrifying. The emperor’s temper was volatile, and a palace attendant had enraged him while serving tea.

The hall fell into a deadly silence. He Yanzhou threw back his robes and knelt.

Except for the emperor, only Qin Xiangyi remained standing.

“Beat him to death! Beat him to death! Carry out the punishment!” the emperor roared.

Qin Xiangyi’s knees buckled. She too fell to her knees, no longer caring for posture.

She reached out and grabbed the sleeve of He Yanzhou’s robe hidden behind the screen, the only comfort she could cling to.

The sesame candy melted sweetly in her mouth, the warmth spreading down her throat. He Yanzhou’s hand, resting on his knee, slowly moved to grasp tightly the hand clutching his sleeve.